


Operation Merry Un-Birthday

by jdphoenix



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 14:22:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4063204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdphoenix/pseuds/jdphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four months into what is probably Tony’s most adult relationship ever, he realizes he’s a terrible boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Merry Un-Birthday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [writerblocked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerblocked/gifts).



> This is a birthday gift for the lovely writerblocked, aka the bestest friend in the history of everything.

Four months into what is probably Tony’s most adult relationship ever, he realizes he’s a terrible boyfriend. (Okay, he realizes it about five minutes in when Pepper scolds him for thinking they’re going to have “thank God we’re alive” sex while there’s still the Expo to clean up, but this is a whole lot worse.)

This particular blow to his boyfriend credibility comes in the form of a week long campaign in Ossetia and the forest of cards he comes back to find scattered over the table in Pepper’s office. They’re birthday cards, to be exact, and Tony realizes - for what will be the third time in as many years - that he has ruined Pepper’s birthday.

The first time wasn’t really his fault. He was kind of kidnapped and it wasn’t even actually her birthday anymore by the time that happened, but it probably made the leftover cake taste like cardboard.

The second time wasn’t really his fault either. Well, _technically_ it was, since he’s the one who built the reactor, but can he really be blamed when he was _dying_?

And of course this last time is the fault of those assholes in Ossetia and their terrible, horrible timing.

Still, he gets the feeling that this is a big no-no in adult-type relationships, and feels the need to make amends. Unfortunately for him, his lack of experience in this area (unless the making amends can be done with really spectacular sex - that is _definitely_ his wheelhouse) means he needs outside help.

“So what do I do?” Asking at all leaves a bad taste in Tony’s mouth, but it’s mitigated by the frown that’s replaced that insufferable, ever-present smirk of Agent Coulson’s.

“You called me here for relationship advice?” he asks.

Tony shrugs, looks out at the ocean. “You’re the only married person I know.”

The smirk is back. Damn. “I’m not married.”

“Divorced? I’ll take divorced.”

Coulson shakes his head. “Never had the time for relationships.”

“Son of a bitch.” He really thought - aside from being a SHIELD agent - Coulson was an example of a fully-functioning adult person. It never occurred to him the poor guy might be married to his job. (Though it should have. It absolutely should have, now that he thinks of it. Once this mess is cleared up, he’s taking Coulson out on the town. Hell, maybe that can be his gift to Pepper. She’s always liked doing good deeds.)

Coulson chuckles. “Listen, you don’t have to worry. Pepper hates her birthday.”

“Pepper _loves_ her birthday,” Tony says seriously, choosing to ignore for the moment that Coulson is somehow on a first name basis with his girlfriend.

Pepper loves all birthdays - the only party he ever throws that she doesn’t complain about is his annual birthday bash - but she _loves_ her own. He has years of experience - not the last couple, of course, but before that - to confirm that fact. The first year she was his assistant, he (childishly) spent the whole day trying to wipe the odd smile off her face (and failing miserably) until she left for the day with a casual mention that she was headed to her party.

Coulson shakes his head. “Nope. Hates it. I gave her something last year - and, she’s Pepper, so she was classy about it - but she confessed later that she doesn’t like to celebrate.”

Tony Stark is not a humble guy, so he’d be the first one to say he’s a genius. And, being a genius, it takes him about two seconds to put together what’s going on.

“Son of a _bitch_ ,” he says.

He wonders if Coulson already knew the story there, because all he says is, “Yep.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Patience isn’t exactly Tony’s style, but he waited literal _years_ for Pepper, he can wait a few months to surprise her. Six, to be exact. He hems and haws over the days. One hundred eighty-two and a half days is kind of awkward (not that he can’t _do_ it. He’s Tony Stark, if he wants to start a twenty-four hour celebration at noon instead of first thing in the morning, he can. But then he starts wondering about if that half day should be measured from the specific time and it all becomes a mess until JARVIS reminds him that leap years exist and Pepper will probably prefer a celebration that doesn’t interrupt any meetings), but he makes it work.

Hell, he even throws her off the scent by spending every minute they’re together in the weeks prior harping about the new tower’s energy system and then making a completely inappropriate comment about percentages the night before.

And then Agent Coulson shows up.

Tony can make this work though. There’s still that pesky day/half-a-day screwing up his timetable. If he can’t fix Fury’s problem and catch a flight to Washington in time, they’ll do it all the next day. It’s totally workable.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It is not workable. It is, in fact, _so_ not workable that Tony _forgets_. _Again_. He doesn’t even remember until dawn three days later (after some “thank God you’re alive” sex - not as crazy as he’d like, but concessions have to be made when you’ve been grabbed out of a thousand foot freefall by the Hulk) when he checks his phone and finds several messages from JARVIS asking if operation “Merry Un-birthday” is still a go.

“Son of a bitch!” he yells. And promptly remembers Pepper still sleeping behind him.

“What?” she asks, coming instantly out of her sleep. Her hand lands on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

He falls back into place beside her on the bed, throwing his legs up exaggeratedly and flopping them over hers.

“I forgot your half-birthday,” he says, because, after the day he’s had, he is just way too tired to hide it anymore. He really wishes Loki was still around so he could kick the guy’s ass for this. That’d make him feel a hell of a lot better.

The hotel’s got them on a pretty high floor, so there isn’t a lot of light streaming in the windows, but this is still New York City; he can definitely see the way her face scrunches up in confusion.

“My what?”

He grabs for her hip, pulling her slightly on top of him so she doesn’t have to hold herself up while he rubs her ass. “Your half-birthday. I know you hate your actual birthday - and I can guess why easily enough-” She buries her face in his shoulder and he kisses the top of her head. (They don’t talk about it. Ever, really. But they’ve spent enough nights together now that he knows when she wakes up from nightmares, she’s most likely to need his reassurances that he’s here, he’s home, he’s safe.) “-but I was gonna take you out for your half-birthday. There was a whole plan.” Which is totally ruined now thanks to Loki. All his supplies for the big event were in the storage beneath the penthouse and that got totaled by one of those hover scooters.

Pepper wraps an arm across his chest and pulls herself a little more fully atop him. His bruises have bruises thanks to Bruce, but he’s alive and the pain reminds him of that. Plus, pain from Pepper isn’t so bad. She kisses her way across his collarbone and he can feel her straining to plant one on the tip of his chin before she tucks her head into the curve of his neck.

“No birthdays,” she says, her breath falling pleasantly over his chest. He moves his hand up to her back, drawing diagrams for the tower renovations on her skin. “No half-birthdays.” She yawns. “If you want, you can go crazy on Christmas to make up for it. But I don’t think the planet can handle another Pepper Potts birthday.”

Okay, maybe she’s right about that.

“Christmas, huh?” he asks. She hums in answer, the sound reverberating through his chest. He can work with that.


End file.
